Thursday, June 4, 2009

State Signs, Golf and PMS!

CAUTION... I think I'm PMSing so if you're faint of heart, you might want to move on. And quickly. Because I'm mad and ornery and I just don't care! Frankly, I have to guess at my condition because 12+ years ago I underwent a partial hysterectomy (sorry guys, I know you don't want to hear it). The only symptons I have to go on are- eating everything "bad" I can get my hands on (i.e., a whole tube of Girl Scout Mint Cookies, approx. 25 tootsie rolls, nacho chips with melted cheese and salsa (serves 4), and, to counter act, a half bag of baby carrots. I skipped dinner after downing 2 banana daqauiries (sp?) and feeling like I was going to burst. Had a nap instead. :)

The other sympton is my feelings towards the hubby. OMGoodness! Generally speaking, he's the love of my life. We get along great! But you push one wrong button right now (which he did) and... LOOK OUT!

We headed out in the car yesterday to go to the marina and net a sucker fish (he wanted one for bait). Sounded like a great opportunity for me to tag along and get some photos since it was a decent day. Well, on our way we cross the border of Idaho and Utah. I've been saying for a few years now that we should take some time and get those corney touristee photos of the state signs. Sounds like something fun (and cheap) to collect, right? We travel by car a lot and I thought the kids might appreciate them when we're dead and gone. So, as we approach the Utah sign, I holler, "Pull over!" Thought it was the perfect opportunity to start our collection- after all, we met and raised our kids in Utah, so appropo! :)

He happily swings right and stops but refuses to get out of the car. Now, he's usually a very accommodating, reasonable man. I never heard him utter the word "NO" (to anyone) until well past our 10th anniversary. He must have had a burr in his pants this day because he absolutely refused. He graciously said he'd take my picture but I wanted a picture of the two of us. No way! He was not in a posing mood. Uh, who is this alien who has taken over my husband's body?

After a little back and forth conversation, I (huffily) get back in the car thinking he's all sorts of unreasonable (won't mention the actual word I was thinking but it starts with an "A"... Yes, I'm a bit off-color when I'm mad.) Well, in my female mind, it wasn't just simply that he didn't want his picture taken. It was more like he just didn't want to please me in general. Never considers my wants. Never considers my desires. Obviously, doesn't love me like he used to. Life is pretty much "all about him" and as long as he can fish and golf and boat and putter, he's a happy mess and doesn't comprehend how I couldn't be as well. Maybe I don't want to go fishing- maybe I don't want to golf everyday. Never mind that I got to retire at the ripe old age of 45. Never mind that he really doesn't expect anything of me with regards to household duties. Never mind that he doesn't usually question the amount of money I spend on clothes and make-up. Honestly, I ask so very little- how hard could it be... I just wanted him to get out of the car and smile for a minute. Poor me! How do I live with someone so selfish and unreasonable. Poor me! How can I go through life living someone else's dreams. Poor me! What does life have to offer if I can't get a picture of us in front of the state sign?

To make a long story short, he happily goes about his business of catching his bait and exclaiming "Jackpot! I got one!". He allows me to hog the TV and watch Ellen and Oprah while busying himself with mowing and trimming and doing little chores around the house when he'd prefer to be watching CNN and Kramer. He happily barbeques up some dinner and proudly announces, "It's soup!". Are you seeing a pattern here? He's clueless! Doesn't even realize that I'm steamed. Has no idea that his life hangs in the balance as I contemplate my next fiendish move for revenge. He's actually trying to make light-hearted conversation all evening. Whaaa? Helloooooo, I'm unhappy! I'm wasting all this energy thinking I'm proving some huge point and he doesn't even know he's in trouble! Sound typical ladies??

So my best option (the only option really) is to drown my sorrows in a huge bowl of ice cream with carmel sauce and forget about it. Two days from now I can look forward to a game of golf, a trip to the beach, and some barbeque dinner compliments of my happy (clueless) husband. God bless him.

I'll post the pic's of the marina shots in a few days when my mood allows me to go through them. Hopefully I have a winner or two that you'll enjoy.

Happy Sails!

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